While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
