I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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