Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The feeling are messing with the penis
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
