There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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