is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
