My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
