Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
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i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize