WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
