They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
