Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
