Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
