I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize