Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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