Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sober January is a disaster.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
