Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
