I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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