so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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