This dress was meant to end up on your floor
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
