i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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