who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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