No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The uberlube is also flammable
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.