If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
