Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
