Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
