I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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