just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize