Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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