pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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