Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize