I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
