What a fucking waste of an outfit
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I checked into jail on foursquare
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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