seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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