Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
