My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There r osticjed everywhere
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
