My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We got so high we made milksteak
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
