I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
