Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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