I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
