Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i just made my gag reflex go away.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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