so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
