Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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