But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
