my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Buhtt sex?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
