so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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