so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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