forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
