wrigley field is MILF paradise
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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