Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
