I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize