he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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