i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
