dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
