I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
