just come out here and I will go home with you...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
