did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
