A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
