Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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